Police: where do your parents live? Me: with me. Police: where do u live? Me: with my parents. If you ever want to see me again, send me $1,000 for ransom.”
I changed my car horn to sound like gunshots… People get out of the way much faster now.” Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.” Yeah, I’ve got O.C.D Old cranky and dangerous.” When you cry nobody sees your tears, when you are worried nobody sees your pain, when you are happy nobody sees your smile, but you fart just one time …OMG….” I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal.” A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me… Well… that’s a sign of good taste.” Whoever said technology will replace paper… has obviously never tried to wipe their ass with an iPad.” When I get all worked up I will shout, piss me off and I’ll knock you out.” If I didn’t eat what mom cooked, I didn’t eat.” My parents didn’t call my cell, they yelled my name. ANGER is that feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.” Don’t mess with me: I know karate, judo, Tai Kwon do jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.”
It hurts when someone you love says mean things like “It’s time to wake up”.” One said: “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” the other replied: “I don’t know, I can’t see”.” I wonder how cops on bikes arrest people.
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